Mom's Free Laundry Service

We have six people in our family, so I always have tons of laundry to do. Every single day. What happens when I do not do any laundry for several days? This:

My children are ages 11, 9, nearly-7, and 5, so I believe they should be doing more to help with the laundry. When we moved into this house, I began to make them all put away their own laundry, which has been great. The problem is that they neither bring me the laundry on a regular basis nor appreciate all the work I do in order to get their cute jeans, favorite dresses, and goofy socks back into their drawers and closets. 

I have decided that it is time for some changes in our house. 

Over the past year or so, I have gotten softer on the girls and my husband about the laundry routine, and it is grinding my days off to a halt now. I work three days per week, volunteer at school on one of my off days, and have zero desire to spend my remaining day off on laundry. When the girls and my dear husband return home today, they will find a scene like this:

While this particular room is my own bedroom, I have placed these notices in each of our three bedrooms. What does it say, you ask? Let me show you the new rules for laundry in my house as of today, Tuesday, October 22, 2013:

I am quite hopeful that my days of rounding up piles of clothing from my daughters' bedroom floors, hallways, the entryway, the family room, and the bathrooms are over. There will be some growing pains, I am sure, but I also realize that I am doing a disservice to my offspring and myself by not encouraging them to be even more independent about their laundry. It is not enough to show them one time how to load the washer or fold clothes from the dryer. It is time the girls learned to follow through the entire process.

It may be several more months before I feel comfortable with the two big girls actually running the washing machine and dryer; that is a lot of responsibility. See, there I go babying them again. When each of the girls turns twelve, I will teach her how to do laundry from beginning to end. There. Now, I have to do it. 

Processing Death

And like that, she is gone.

I will miss my grandma in so many more ways than I thought I would. Her kindness, her generosity (I have never met anyone else that offers my girls "Freezey Pops" at any time of day), her sweetness, her stubbornness, her laughter; it will all be missed. 

Death wreaks havoc in many ways, and my response is particularly a multi-emotional one. I tend to have less patience with nit-picky people, grumpy people, rude people, and complainers. I cannot hide my opinion or anger or irritation very well, and I tend to blow up over insignificant things. I cry over the smallest acts of kindness, when my girls tell me they love me, or just when I feel like it. My dear husband is capable of identifying these episodes and handling them well, but others are not.

We just returned from Grandma's funeral late Monday evening, the girls went back to school on Tuesday morning, and I had a few hours of training for my new job on Wednesday. With all this in mind, my husband's parents decided that these few days out of their multiple-week trip were the ones on which to visit us. I had asked that they not come this week, even before my grandma died, but they were insistent. 

I am still angry at the world. I am angry that my grandparents are dead. I grew up next door to them, and the bulk of my childhood revolves around them. They helped to shape me into the person, wife, and parent that I am. We are inheriting a beautiful armoire and a practically brand new television from Grandma, which is fantastic, but they will not bring her back to me. We will value these things of hers, though, and we will cherish the memories we make with them and think of her fondly. 

I know my in-laws probably expect me to apologize for my behavior while they were here, but I do not have any plans to do so at this time. I am grieving. I am stressed. I needed this time with my husband and my daughters, not house guests. Yes, I poked fun at this tacky, hideous camel-shaped table that looks like it belongs in a 70s drug lord movie that they brought to my husband. Yes, I meant it. No, it will not be displayed in a prominent place in my home. Ever. My husband understands and agreed to put it somewhere more obscure. He gets me. We are on the same page. 

Perhaps I will feel like apologizing for any hurt feelings later.

Or perhaps not.

I pray that God will help me to deal with these feelings and know the wisest course of action in moving forward. I also pray that He helps my girls to heal from all of this. I will also thank Him for blessing us in so many other ways. 

Melancholy

I would like to think that I handle most things in stride. Being a mother of four necessitates such an ability, does it not? What I have come to realize about myself in the past fifteen years or so is that I do take most things in stride, but I have a truly difficult time dealing with bigger issues in a timely manner.

Given the amount of setbacks, disappointments, and family drama in my life before I ever left middle school, one would think that nothing could get to me very easily. When I ended my very intense, romantic, on-again-off-again relationship of three years back in 1999, I sank into a very deep pit of constant sadness. That same summer, when my biological parents that had promised to pay for my fifth year of undergrad changed their minds with less than one month until classes began, I panicked. Luckily for me, my husband (then brand new boyfriend) was there to pick me up and put me back together.

Moving from the east to the Midwest proved to be more than a challenging experience for me. I was enrolled in graduate school in a field that was not my passion, living in an extreme weather environment, living in sin with my husband (then fiancé), and I felt like I was in a foreign country in terms of the people. Sadly, that feeling never went away completely, even after eleven years. I had such a difficult time processing all that change at once that my guy suggested I see a counselor or he would ship me back to my folks. Yes, it was that bad. 

When my wedding dress came in in the wrong size, I worked it out with the seamstress pretty easily and without much stress. When I got pregnant nine days after we got married, I was excited, even though this was not our plan. When it came time to deliver my first child, I just did what had to be done with determination. When I got put on restricted activity with my second pregnancy, it was no big deal.

When the grandfather I grew up with as my next-door neighbor got cancer and died, I got sad and fat. I am an emotional eater. When I nearly lost my third child due to partial placental abruptions and preterm labor, I worried constantly and hid it by knitting. For a year or more after she was born, I cried just thinking about what almost was. When I found out I was pregnant for a fourth time, quite unexpectedly, I was angry and scared until two weeks before she was born. I still carry guilt over this. When my husband had to leave us behind for nine months while he moved to the east coast for a new job, I went into survival mode. I had mild PTSD for nearly one year after we were reunited.

Yes, I can roll with some punches, but others knock me to the ground.  I will manage through faith in Jesus Christ, that I know. In fact, I am more affected by the imminent passing of my grandma than anything else right now. And just like with Grandpa, I know I am eating emotionally and sleeping more and not interacting enough. 

At least I have valued the time I have had left with my dear Grandma, and my girls have grown to adore her just as much as the rest of us. We helped her pick produce in her garden last summer. We baked her zucchini bread from the zucchini we picked in her garden. The girls ate Freezey Pops all summer with her last year. We spent most of the summer in West Virginia, taking in all the time and memories we could with my parents and Grandma. We have visited her. We have called her. We have loved her.

And she has loved us.

We are blessed. 

On Self Doubt

I saw this posted on Facebook today, and it feels like someone wrote this just for me. Read it. Accept it. Move forward with more contentment.

Come on Down to Veganville

When I saw this video, I just knew I needed to share it.  I laugh uncontrollably every single time I watch it, and I hope it brings others some laughs, too.

Sadly, all the YouTube videos have been removed by NBC after videos of Justin Timberlake's performance went viral.  It was hilarious, so I am sad that the link will no longer work.  Sorry.  :(

Sunday Morning Funnies

Some people read the comics in the newspaper on a Sunday morning. I have my Mini Me. The following conversation is evidence of the goofiness in my house:

MM: "I tried to wake you up when I woke up today, Dad. I even grabbed your hand, but you didn't move. I thought you were dead."

Me: "So, instead of waking me up and making sure Daddy was actually okay, you came downstairs and watched 'Doctor Who' and ate yogurt?"

MM: Grin.

What is it About Money?

Would this world be so bad if everyone threw out their pieces of paper and metal that signify currency? That's all they are: paper and metal. Where is Kirk or Picard with a replicator when you need one? They wiped out the need for currency in the Star Trek version of Earth, so a girl can hope.

God is my eternal light, constant companion, and source of hope and courage. He has instructed us to not worship idols, and yet our society worships money at all times and in all ways. While I try my best to remove myself from this sort of existence, I cannot seem to escape money and it's ever-growing reach. Just when it seems that my family can start to breathe a little easier, yet another financial hurdle shows up. Satan, keep your love of everything monetary. As for me and my house, we serve the Lord in all things and at all times.

I have never been, nor will I ever claim to be, a perfect person or perfect Christian. I do worry, I do slip up on occasion and say some naughty words, and I do wish I could be doing more to ease our financial strain. These financial woes are meant to be trappings of a person's twenties, not thirties, I thought. Sadly, in today's economy, I fear these financial strains may last longer than most people can imagine. Instead, we should be turning our hearts and thoughts to The Lord and asking His advice on how to handle our finances. He is the great provider, and we are charged to be good stewards of what we are given by Him.

May the good Lord always bless and keep you and make your hearts and homes rich with laughter, love, and peace. May He always provide for your needs and keep your hearts humble enough to set aside your wants in order to see what it is He wants you to see. In His holy name, Amen.

Oh, For Cute

That saying always bothered me when I lived in the Midwest, because it does not make much sense grammatically. It is, however, entirely appropriate at times. For me, one of those moments occurred in the past few weeks.

On January 2nd, I went to see my family practitioner for my annual exam. Now, any woman that has had an annual physical can tell you that it is all about making one uncomfortable. There is talk of weight, menstrual cycles, birth control, and anything else the doctor deems necessary.

Perhaps one of the most uncomfortable moments for me always happens when it is time for the breast exam. The doctor always pushes too hard, and I am not much of a fan of sharing my breasts with anyone other than my husband of nearly twelve years. This is where things got a little concerning, though.

My doctor was concerned about bumps she found in nearly the same location on each breast. My faith in God and knowledge that eating a vegan diet nearly erases one's risk of developing cancer helped to assuage any personal worry. I scheduled a mammogram per her request and awaited the results. Once they arrived, saying that I have no abnormalities, I realized what my doctor was concerned about: my pectoral muscles from all the weight lifting I do.

Oh, for cute.

Resolutions

Okay, resolution time:

1. Continue to praise God every day with my actions and intent. 
2. Continue my journey to great health. 
3. Finally get back to scrapbooking regularly. 
4. Finish more projects. 
5. Learn to say, "No."  
6. Catch up on blogging and my website posts.

Number one seems like it should be easy to accomplish, on the surface, but focusing my thoughts on always being the type of person that pleases God is quite difficult.  You know that moment when you think, "Why is she wearing that?" or "Wow, that is not being a good parent," or "Why do others have so much when I have so little?"  Those moments of thought are the ones that do not follow God's word.  Those thoughts are judgmental and covetous.  See?  It really is difficult.

Number two is definitely happening, because I love the changes I have made and seen in myself over the past twelve months.  I am in much better health than I have been since my late teens, and being strong is so empowering.  Eating strictly vegan dishes, instead of mostly-vegan, cutting down the sweets (again), and not eating after 7:00 pm (again) are my first objects to tackle.  In addition, I have decided to change up my exercise routine a bit in the hopes of kick-starting my weight loss again.

Number three has been bothering me since we moved to Maryland.  In Minnesota, I cropped regularly (at least monthly) with a fantastic group of women at a local scrapbooking store, but I have yet to find such a place in Maryland just yet.  Have I really exerted much effort in the search?  Not so much.  My fault?  Absolutely.  Will I be rectifying this situation in short order?  Definitely.

Number four has been a personal challenge and cause for several years now.  I am horrible collector of ridiculously creative ideas and materials that never get used to their fullest potential.  Chronically.  The bulk of this trait can be referenced back to number three above.  I love resolutions that build on one another.

Number five is, by far, the single most difficult task ahead of me.  I love making people happy and spending time with others, which leads me to over-schedule my life sometimes and over-extend myself quite often.  I need to learn to say no in a kind and considerate, yet firm, way.  Please have patience with me while I endeavor to perfect this necessary balance in my life, friends and family.

Number six is all about procrastination and lack of desire to remain stationary for very long.  Someone should author an application for blogging via voice.  Boy, would I love to multi-task this way by blogging while on the treadmill at the gym.  Oh!  How about a treadmill or stationary bike with a built in tablet?  Now, who is the genius?  This gal.