Frustration

I have heard so many wax poetic that the obesity epidemic in the world today is directly related to a lack of physical activity. Others claim the cause is poor nutrition and lack of self-control. If either, or both, are correct, what is wrong with me and those like me?

Let me paint a picture of my week:

• I do one hour of intense Zumba Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
• My husband and I take at least a 2-mile walk 5-7 days per week.
• I drink over 100 ounces of water daily.
• I drink a soy milk and green superfoods drink every morning.
• I eat a primarily vegan diet with the occasional chicken breast or hamburger added to the mix. 
• Our home is dairy-free and, mostly, gluten-free, thanks to Celiac Disease in my husband and second daughter.
• I spend Tuesdays and Thursdays on my feet 10:00 am until 4:00 pm, teaching college mathematics.
• In addition to teaching math, I also teach clarinet and flute lessons on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.
• When I teach all day, I drink a vegan meal-replacement shake and eat a Clif Bar for lunch.
• I have four daughters, a husband, an orange furbaby, and a home to tend.
• I play in a woodwind trio, woodwind quintet, and orchestra.
• I am planning a solo clarinet/chamber music recital.
• I practice one hour or more daily.

My point? I am far from lazy, I do not overeat, and I eat pretty healthy food.

Why, then, am I gaining weight instead of losing? I suspect a few culprits:

1. A healthy body requires at least eight hours of sleep per night, and I am averaging just under seven right now.
2. Weight training is missing from my routine.
3. My stress levels have soared this semester.
4. Although I eat heathy foods, and not too much of anything, I do still have a bit of a sweet tooth.
5. Hormonal fluctuations that are not being adequately subdued by my current medication.
6. Asthma that is not as under control as it used to be.

My plan is to start with the first item on my problem list and work my way through them until I discover what is stopping my weight loss. I have lost it all before, and I can again.

Mom's Free Laundry Service

We have six people in our family, so I always have tons of laundry to do. Every single day. What happens when I do not do any laundry for several days? This:

My children are ages 11, 9, nearly-7, and 5, so I believe they should be doing more to help with the laundry. When we moved into this house, I began to make them all put away their own laundry, which has been great. The problem is that they neither bring me the laundry on a regular basis nor appreciate all the work I do in order to get their cute jeans, favorite dresses, and goofy socks back into their drawers and closets. 

I have decided that it is time for some changes in our house. 

Over the past year or so, I have gotten softer on the girls and my husband about the laundry routine, and it is grinding my days off to a halt now. I work three days per week, volunteer at school on one of my off days, and have zero desire to spend my remaining day off on laundry. When the girls and my dear husband return home today, they will find a scene like this:

While this particular room is my own bedroom, I have placed these notices in each of our three bedrooms. What does it say, you ask? Let me show you the new rules for laundry in my house as of today, Tuesday, October 22, 2013:

I am quite hopeful that my days of rounding up piles of clothing from my daughters' bedroom floors, hallways, the entryway, the family room, and the bathrooms are over. There will be some growing pains, I am sure, but I also realize that I am doing a disservice to my offspring and myself by not encouraging them to be even more independent about their laundry. It is not enough to show them one time how to load the washer or fold clothes from the dryer. It is time the girls learned to follow through the entire process.

It may be several more months before I feel comfortable with the two big girls actually running the washing machine and dryer; that is a lot of responsibility. See, there I go babying them again. When each of the girls turns twelve, I will teach her how to do laundry from beginning to end. There. Now, I have to do it. 

Resolutions

Okay, resolution time:

1. Continue to praise God every day with my actions and intent. 
2. Continue my journey to great health. 
3. Finally get back to scrapbooking regularly. 
4. Finish more projects. 
5. Learn to say, "No."  
6. Catch up on blogging and my website posts.

Number one seems like it should be easy to accomplish, on the surface, but focusing my thoughts on always being the type of person that pleases God is quite difficult.  You know that moment when you think, "Why is she wearing that?" or "Wow, that is not being a good parent," or "Why do others have so much when I have so little?"  Those moments of thought are the ones that do not follow God's word.  Those thoughts are judgmental and covetous.  See?  It really is difficult.

Number two is definitely happening, because I love the changes I have made and seen in myself over the past twelve months.  I am in much better health than I have been since my late teens, and being strong is so empowering.  Eating strictly vegan dishes, instead of mostly-vegan, cutting down the sweets (again), and not eating after 7:00 pm (again) are my first objects to tackle.  In addition, I have decided to change up my exercise routine a bit in the hopes of kick-starting my weight loss again.

Number three has been bothering me since we moved to Maryland.  In Minnesota, I cropped regularly (at least monthly) with a fantastic group of women at a local scrapbooking store, but I have yet to find such a place in Maryland just yet.  Have I really exerted much effort in the search?  Not so much.  My fault?  Absolutely.  Will I be rectifying this situation in short order?  Definitely.

Number four has been a personal challenge and cause for several years now.  I am horrible collector of ridiculously creative ideas and materials that never get used to their fullest potential.  Chronically.  The bulk of this trait can be referenced back to number three above.  I love resolutions that build on one another.

Number five is, by far, the single most difficult task ahead of me.  I love making people happy and spending time with others, which leads me to over-schedule my life sometimes and over-extend myself quite often.  I need to learn to say no in a kind and considerate, yet firm, way.  Please have patience with me while I endeavor to perfect this necessary balance in my life, friends and family.

Number six is all about procrastination and lack of desire to remain stationary for very long.  Someone should author an application for blogging via voice.  Boy, would I love to multi-task this way by blogging while on the treadmill at the gym.  Oh!  How about a treadmill or stationary bike with a built in tablet?  Now, who is the genius?  This gal.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 13

As I posted today on Facebook, I need to refocus my trust in God to provide what we truly need, so I think it is time to start up some thankful posting.

Today, I am thankful that my camera will soon be on its way back to me. I never fully realized how much I truly love shooting nearly every day until I could no longer do so.

My Nikon camera stopped functioning properly several weeks ago, and I sold one of my lensed to pay for the repair.  As of today, it looks like my camera will be shipped back to me within the day.

To say that I have felt lost and in a bit of despair without my camera is completely accurate.  I had just begun yet another photo project, knowing not to promise a daily photo this time, and I could not force myself to take those photos with my iPhone camera.  Without a point-and-shoot, I have been relying solely on that iPhone, and it has not let me down.  I have been realistic in my expectations of the photos taken with my phone, which has helped quite a lot.  Those pages in the girls' scrapbooks will just have a little extra story to them.  That is not such a bad thing, though.

The lack of a camera body has lead me to rent another camera from borrowlenses.com for a children's shoot, which has made me very excited at the idea of buying a lightly-used one from a colleague that is a brilliant photographer.  This whole experience, in fact, has helped me to define my actual needs versus wants in my photography business.  In addition, I have been able to really define my style and editing process and be more organized about how I want to approach my photography business in the future.

Once again, I find myself thanking God for yet another blessing in disguise.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 11

As I posted today on Facebook, I need to refocus my trust in God to provide what we truly need, so I think it is time to start up some thankful posting.

Today, I am thankful for science and medicine.  After feeling pretty rotten last night, I was able to take some medicine to ease my discomfort. This is not readily available in every place in our world, so I am extremely grateful.

As I have become healthier, I have completely overhauled how, where, and when I eat.  I strayed from that plan yesterday afternoon, eating chicken nuggets and fries from Chick-fil-A (definitely not the best choice for an aspiring vegan), and I paid for it all afternoon and evening. The high salt content wrecked my system, and I found myself incredibly nauseous, bloated, in pain, with a headache, and in need of a bathroom for the rest of the day and night.  If it were not for the over-the-counter medicines readily available to me, I would have been miserable for so very much longer.

We tend to take for granted things that others in this world have never even experienced.  Especially at this time of year, I find myself so very thankful for all the comforts I have.  Thank you, Lord, for the doctors, nurses, technicians, pharmacists, and research scientists that you have put in our world to aide us in becoming or remaining healthier.  Thank you, medical professionals, for the work you do every day in our world.  Your work is truly admirable.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 10

As I posted today on Facebook, I need to refocus my trust in God to provide what we truly need, so I think it is time to start up some thankful posting.

Today, I am thankful for God's presence in my life and His pushes to be in the right places at the right times.

My journey toward appreciating what I already have is blessing me in a multitude of ways.  I mentioned in a previous post that I have been struggling with the direction in which I would like to take my life.  I have been playing my clarinet (followed by my flute and borrowed saxophones) since I was sixteen, and I have been a paid private instructor since I was nineteen.  That is a lot of time dedicated to my passions, and I do not intend to give up on them anytime soon.  The Lord blessed me with these talents, and I do not intend to minimize them.

I serve on the Howard County Fine Arts Advisory Council, as well as serve as the technology liaison, and this affiliation has lead to many wonderful opportunities for me on a business and personal level.  I have been added to the Howard County Parents for School Music committee as a representative for my daughters' school, the county listing of private instructors, participated on the music panel for our annual Fine Arts College Information Night, and I have been able to network with an abundance of incredibly kind and talented members and supporters of the arts community in Howard County.

One of these incredibly talents supporter of the arts community serves on the HCFAAC and works for the county parks and recreation program.  When she put together a Teen Opportunities Fair, I was so honored that she asked me to represent Music in Howard County.  Having served on the music panel for our College Information Night in 2011 and 2012 helped me on my way to gathering the necessary information for parents and students, but I still had to dig through the information on the county website for even more opportunities that I knew existed.  My extensive experience with teaching advanced high school students in Minnesota for eleven years allowed me to locate the links and information for the Maryland equivalent events, thankfully.

Today was the Teen Opportunities Fair, and I cannot even speak now after standing and conversing with parents and students for over three hours.   I decided to educate parents not only on the opportunities for advancement through and outside of school but also on the process of choosing the appropriate private music instructor.  I brought my teaching curriculum, copies of my résumé, and business cards with me to use as an indicator for a quality private instructor.  What I did not expect to happen was the volume of my business cards that were taken and an impromptu deeper conversation on my teaching ideals and processes with a band director from one of the best music programs in the state.  God put me in the right place at the right time, discussing what I love to do with all my heart.

**11/27: As an update, this trend continued on Monday, November 12th, when the manager of a local music store asked for my card to discuss having me teach there, too.  I have messaged the high school teacher, and I have yet to hear from the store manager, but I am optimistic that these opportunities will come to fruition in due time.  It's all in the Lord's hands and His timing.  If you feel so inclined, I would love prayers of support and encouragement for these potential opportunities to get my clarinet studio back to what it was in Minnesota.  Thank you from every part of my heart.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 7

As I posted today on Facebook, I need to refocus my trust in God to provide what we truly need, so I think it is time to start up some thankful posting.

Today, I am thankful for new opportunities and the support of colleagues. 

I have been struggling a lot with the direction of my future once the end of August arrives.  What is so special about the end of August?  My baby will enter kindergarten, and I will no longer be a stay-at-home-mom.  At that point, I have no reason to stay at home any longer.  Yes, I know I could volunteer at school, clean my house even more, etc., but that is just not enough for me.  In fact, the majority of my closest friends were blown away by my decision to stay at home with my children in the very beginning, eleven years ago.  It was, and still is, the very best choice for my four daughters, and I do not regret making such a choice.  But it was still a surprising choice given my level of ambition and talent.  

Fast forward to, say, three months ago.  As my third daughter climbed up the steps of the bus for her first day of kindergarten, I suddenly realized that my days at home were numbered.  What did this mean?  Should I go back to school?  Should I dust off that worthless piece of paper that is my civil engineering degree and go back to it (enter vomiting motions here)?  Should I just continue to stay at home and practice my face off every day in order to get a playing job in a symphony?  

These questions and more have been flooding my head for months now.  Once the news about all these orchestras being frozen out by their management started multiplying, panic set in.  As a professional clarinetist, what prospects are left for my future?  Am I going to have to seek employment in Europe, where audiences still flock to orchestra concerts?  WIll I be able to find a job as a clarinet professor?  Is my profession on the wane?  With the rise in insipid, sophomoric popular music, is it still possible for the general public to enjoy music with real content in today's world?  I wish I knew the answers.  

In an effort to feel more included at the girls' new school and cultivate more connections to the music community in our school district, I began volunteering every Wednesday morning in the music room.  What a blessing that has been!  I cannot begin to say enough good things about the general music teacher and her Recorder Karate program.  These third graders are playing recorder, including traditional American hymns and folk music, and LOVING it.  I mean, LOVING it.  These fine young musicians work so hard every week to impress both me and their teacher with their progress.

This leads me to my reason for gratitude for today.  Alison, the general music teacher, asked me if I would consider teaching for our school district.  She said that I would make a fantastic addition to the program, and she knows that I would have the full support of several teachers.  That really made me think about my future and an option I had eliminated when I was eighteen.  As a freshman in undergraduate studies, I ruled out a degree in music education simply because of the marching band requirement.  The marching band practices conflicted with orchestra, and I was the only freshman clarinet player in orchestra.  I could not skip out on the type of playing I wanted to do for the rest of my life just to march around and play a shoddy plastic clarinet that would not be heard anyway.  I am a classical, orchestral clarinet player, and field marching just is not my "thing."  It never has been; it never will be.  So, I opted for the bachelors program in music performance instead.

That said, I think I may truly enjoy teaching general music or beginning band.  Ideally, I would love to work only with the beginner woodwind classes, but I realize this is a pipe dream.  So, I find myself now re-visting a career path for which I thought I did not have the patience.  I have not made up my mind as to whether or not I want to pursue this path, but to know that I have the votes of confidence from several members of the music teaching community in my school district really helps.  I still do not know what my future holds, but I do know it will involve music at all times.  That is just who I am.  My prayers have turned more toward trusting God to know what is best for me, and I know that He alone is the one in control of where my future leads.

The 18-Hour Energy Diet

I think this would be a fitting name for an all-natural, organic, mostly (if not completely) vegan diet. If a diet rich in vegetables and fruits and a modest amount of complex carbohydrates were marketed in this fashion, it would be all the rage.

Never, in my wildest dreams, could I have imagined that I would have so much energy that I could barely sit still nearly every day, just because of my diet. My sleep is peaceful, I wake up happy and ready to roll, and I am not "just making it through" the day now. I take my kids on walks, run errands, cook, clean, and work out. This is fantastic!

My next goal is to tailor my vitamins, minerals, and herbal supplements to my diet and health needs and wants. What a blessing it is for the Lord to have opened my eyes. I thank Him every day for showing me the path to health and happiness. May I show Him all the praise through my dedication to treating my body as a temple and encouraging others to do the same.