These feelings began earlier this quarter, but seeing their current grades solidified my beliefs. The eldest is smart, sweet, sarcastic, and pretty studious. That said, she failed a geometry take-home test.
With a mathematics professor sitting on the sofa every evening.
With a mother that did not force the issue.
The second daughter, also in middle school, is brilliant, bright, sunshiny, and also snappy. She has a D in english, along with a low C in prealegra.
With a mathematics professor sitting on the sofa every evening.
With a mother that is trying to let her learn lessons the hard way.
Their academics are falling through the cracks of my teaching job and clarinet studio. I am not sitting with them after school, looking over their lessons for the day, asking comprehension questions, and teaching them how to study instead of just doing homework.
The weight of my responsibilities to my girls as a mom and as a teacher are weighing on me. I know I am working so that they can have braces and dance classes and basketball and music lessons and english tutoring (thank you, Anna!), but I feel like my work is keeping me from being that picture of the perfect mom I have in my mind; the mom I want to be for my girls.
I am not sure what the perfect solution is to our situation, but I do know that I need to cut back my working hours a bit next semester and make a point of sitting with each of my four girls after school and looking through their work with them on the days I am home early enough to do so this semester. I have to.
They need me.
And where does this thought lead me every time? I need my father, my Heavenly Father. Without the love, mercy, and grace of God, I cannot accomplish my goals for myself and my family.
While considering my need for God this morning, He spoke to me through WGTS, the DC Christian music station on the radio. Up first was "Cornerstone," which could not have been more appropriate to my thoughts and prayers at that moment. Following "Cornerstone" was "Revelation Song," singing the words, "Holy, holy, holy; Is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come." What a true example of God working through my prayers and reassuring me that He hears me and can handle any plea I place before Him. Praise be to God!
Note: when I have the chance to edit this post from something other than my phone, I will include links to these beautiful and uplifting songs.
