Frustration

I have heard so many wax poetic that the obesity epidemic in the world today is directly related to a lack of physical activity. Others claim the cause is poor nutrition and lack of self-control. If either, or both, are correct, what is wrong with me and those like me?

Let me paint a picture of my week:

• I do one hour of intense Zumba Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
• My husband and I take at least a 2-mile walk 5-7 days per week.
• I drink over 100 ounces of water daily.
• I drink a soy milk and green superfoods drink every morning.
• I eat a primarily vegan diet with the occasional chicken breast or hamburger added to the mix. 
• Our home is dairy-free and, mostly, gluten-free, thanks to Celiac Disease in my husband and second daughter.
• I spend Tuesdays and Thursdays on my feet 10:00 am until 4:00 pm, teaching college mathematics.
• In addition to teaching math, I also teach clarinet and flute lessons on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.
• When I teach all day, I drink a vegan meal-replacement shake and eat a Clif Bar for lunch.
• I have four daughters, a husband, an orange furbaby, and a home to tend.
• I play in a woodwind trio, woodwind quintet, and orchestra.
• I am planning a solo clarinet/chamber music recital.
• I practice one hour or more daily.

My point? I am far from lazy, I do not overeat, and I eat pretty healthy food.

Why, then, am I gaining weight instead of losing? I suspect a few culprits:

1. A healthy body requires at least eight hours of sleep per night, and I am averaging just under seven right now.
2. Weight training is missing from my routine.
3. My stress levels have soared this semester.
4. Although I eat heathy foods, and not too much of anything, I do still have a bit of a sweet tooth.
5. Hormonal fluctuations that are not being adequately subdued by my current medication.
6. Asthma that is not as under control as it used to be.

My plan is to start with the first item on my problem list and work my way through them until I discover what is stopping my weight loss. I have lost it all before, and I can again.

Resolutions

Okay, resolution time:

1. Continue to praise God every day with my actions and intent. 
2. Continue my journey to great health. 
3. Finally get back to scrapbooking regularly. 
4. Finish more projects. 
5. Learn to say, "No."  
6. Catch up on blogging and my website posts.

Number one seems like it should be easy to accomplish, on the surface, but focusing my thoughts on always being the type of person that pleases God is quite difficult.  You know that moment when you think, "Why is she wearing that?" or "Wow, that is not being a good parent," or "Why do others have so much when I have so little?"  Those moments of thought are the ones that do not follow God's word.  Those thoughts are judgmental and covetous.  See?  It really is difficult.

Number two is definitely happening, because I love the changes I have made and seen in myself over the past twelve months.  I am in much better health than I have been since my late teens, and being strong is so empowering.  Eating strictly vegan dishes, instead of mostly-vegan, cutting down the sweets (again), and not eating after 7:00 pm (again) are my first objects to tackle.  In addition, I have decided to change up my exercise routine a bit in the hopes of kick-starting my weight loss again.

Number three has been bothering me since we moved to Maryland.  In Minnesota, I cropped regularly (at least monthly) with a fantastic group of women at a local scrapbooking store, but I have yet to find such a place in Maryland just yet.  Have I really exerted much effort in the search?  Not so much.  My fault?  Absolutely.  Will I be rectifying this situation in short order?  Definitely.

Number four has been a personal challenge and cause for several years now.  I am horrible collector of ridiculously creative ideas and materials that never get used to their fullest potential.  Chronically.  The bulk of this trait can be referenced back to number three above.  I love resolutions that build on one another.

Number five is, by far, the single most difficult task ahead of me.  I love making people happy and spending time with others, which leads me to over-schedule my life sometimes and over-extend myself quite often.  I need to learn to say no in a kind and considerate, yet firm, way.  Please have patience with me while I endeavor to perfect this necessary balance in my life, friends and family.

Number six is all about procrastination and lack of desire to remain stationary for very long.  Someone should author an application for blogging via voice.  Boy, would I love to multi-task this way by blogging while on the treadmill at the gym.  Oh!  How about a treadmill or stationary bike with a built in tablet?  Now, who is the genius?  This gal.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 1

As I posted today on Facebook, I need to refocus my trust in God to provide what we truly need, so I think it is time to start up some thankful posting. 

Today, I am thankful we still have one working vehicle and the ability to reschedule events for my husband to take my van to work.

My husband's little 1998 Honda needs a new wheel bearing, so he does not want to drive it until it is fixed.  If he does, he risks the wheel falling off the car completely.  We replaced the other front wheel bearing just a few months ago, and we knew it was only a matter of time before the other would be due.  

We do our best to follow the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover method, so this car has to last us until we can pay cash for another one.  Each of our vehicles has a long list of work to be done on them, but we can only get to them one at a time.  Does that mean the four girls and I suffered through a long, hot summer with no air conditioning and only the front windows that opened on my van?  Indeed.  It was a non-essential expenditure, so the a/c repair was shunted to the bottom of our priority list.  The silver lining: the van will be paid off in the spring.

So, for now, I am sacrificing my workouts at the gym so that my husband can continue to be the bread winner.  Not much of a sacrifice, really.  We do have to be extremely careful not to be late for the bus in the mornings, though.  That would not be a fun walk.

I Don't Know How

I don't know how to keep rolling with the punches life keeps dealing us. To recap the past three years:

• My husband got fired from his job, even though he was receiving awards and accolades for his work.

• My husband moved across the country, staying with friends for nine months, because he got a lower-paying job in a more expensive area of the country.

• I packed up our entire house, moved every box to the storage unit, fixed up the house, listed and showed the house, continued working part-time in the evenings, and still took care of my precious daughters.

• I watched my music studio dwindle to only a handful of students by the time I moved, because no one wanted to start up with a teacher that was leaving.

• We moved across the country to join my husband, only to find a tiny apartment in a not-so-good neighborhood waiting for us.

• The kids hated their new school.

• We hated their new school.

• I couldn't teach in the apartment, so I wasn't able to work.

• My husband was awarded an incredible raise that saved our bacon.

• The girls started a new year at their school, and we were happy with their teachers. They still didn't really have friends, though.

• Our eldest needed to get braces. Goodbye, $5000, which we're still paying off.

• When our front neighbors moved out, their cockroaches moved into our apartment.

• We found an incredible real estate agent through the Dave Ramsey ELP program, worked out a loan with our amazing credit union, and moved into a large rental townhouse.

• I decided to apply for admission to graduate school in music at a smaller school in the area, assuming that they would have an appropriate assistantship for me. I was heartily granted admission.

• I was not offered any sort of assistantship. I turned down the school.

• The air conditioning in the van broke, so we were going to fix it. It turned out to be a lot more involved and expensive than we expected. On the way to the mechanic to find out what to do next, my husband's car lost the clutch. So, the clutch got replaced, at the expense of the air conditioning in my van, all our savings, and the money we'd scrimped and saved in order to attend the wedding of one of my best friends.

• I finally started teaching again.

• I was hired to play for a musical and teach a band camp in my hometown area, which allowed me to purchase a piece of musical equipment I desperately needed.

• The possibility of several more students was dangled in front of me, but those opportunities fell through.

• Now, our second daughter needs braces, and there is no way we can pay for them anytime soon.

• We haven't taken the girls on a vacation in eight years.

• We don't eat out.

• We only go to free movies.

• I have managed to lose forty pounds and gain all sorts of muscle in the past year through loads of hard work and eliminating meat and dairy from my diet.

• The girls cannot take music lessons or dance classes, because we cannot afford to pay for them. We have residual debt from our youth and crises of the past that takes up most of our income.

• I have been trying to gain momentum with my photography, which seemed to finally be happening, and my camera broke.

• I haven't found anywhere to play here yet. I haven't been hired for any gigs in my area at all. I have only met two other clarinetists, and one doesn't even play any longer.

• The real kicker: my dad has cancer.

Yeah, that's been my three years. There are some great things in there, but the bad things that I've listed have only scratched the surface of the mile-long list I could make.

At this point, I could lose my faith, or I could place it more firmly in God's hands. I'm choosing the latter, because I know God has a plan for me. I just hope that plan has some really good things coming soon.

The 18-Hour Energy Diet

I think this would be a fitting name for an all-natural, organic, mostly (if not completely) vegan diet. If a diet rich in vegetables and fruits and a modest amount of complex carbohydrates were marketed in this fashion, it would be all the rage.

Never, in my wildest dreams, could I have imagined that I would have so much energy that I could barely sit still nearly every day, just because of my diet. My sleep is peaceful, I wake up happy and ready to roll, and I am not "just making it through" the day now. I take my kids on walks, run errands, cook, clean, and work out. This is fantastic!

My next goal is to tailor my vitamins, minerals, and herbal supplements to my diet and health needs and wants. What a blessing it is for the Lord to have opened my eyes. I thank Him every day for showing me the path to health and happiness. May I show Him all the praise through my dedication to treating my body as a temple and encouraging others to do the same.

Passion

I never dreamed I could feel so passionately about food and exercise.  When I see others making poor food choices, crash dieting, or being sedentary, I want to scream, "Don't you know that you are the one in control?  Don't you know that you can change your life?  Don't you know what you are doing to yourself?"  I fear I am becoming one of those obnoxious health nuts.

Excuse me while I try to remember to carry my soapbox instead of stepping upon it at every opportunity.

Romans 15:7 “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.”

Thirty-Five Already? Sure

Thirty was a difficult milestone for me.  Really difficult.

I thought thirty-five might be difficult, too, but it has not been.  So far.  It has only been one day since I turned thirty-five, so I will have to give it more time to settle.  

Perhaps thirty-five sounded more ominous a few years ago, because it signifies a distinct difference in care during gestation and delivery of a child.  Perhaps that is the reason why it has not been too difficult, because I am done birthing children.  Perhaps I have accepted my thirties and their benefits, because I feel great.

Ten years ago, I was ready to give birth to my first child, weighing in at nearly 250 pounds and losing muscle mass along the way.  I was in good shape underneath, but I had put on quite a bit of weight.

Four years ago, I had four children, I weighed in at 270+ pounds, and I had very little muscle mass.

Today, I still have four children, I weigh somewhere around 240 pounds (and dropping), and I have more muscle than I ever have in my life.  I can do push-ups and planks and run and bike and lift weights and all sorts of athletic activities.  I have never felt better in my life!

This is why thirty-five is going to be a year of celebration in my life.  A year to focus on continuing my quest to be as healthy as I can be.  A year to start my masters degree that will help me to pursue my life's passions: music and education.  A year to watch my daughters learning about food and how it affects every aspect of their lives.  A year to grow in my relationships with my Savior, my husband, my children, my parents, and my friends.  A year to celebrate.

The Challenges of Mixing a New Eating Style With Those Who Don't Understand Why We Do It

I cannot say how many times I have been asked why we changed our diet so much recently.  I have fielded the usual, "But what is left to eat?" and, "How do you get calcium without milk?" and my favorite, "Why don't you like meat and milk now?"  Ah, how simple life must seem from the other side of this conversation.

The reasons why I, personally, have chosen to change my own diet are:

1. I felt called to make major changes through prayer.  I just feel like God is encouraging me to treat my body more like the temple it was when he blessed me with it.
2. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time.
3. I want to be alive and capable of participating in the lives of my four daughters and each and every grandchild they give to me and my husband some day.  This reason makes me cry every time at the thought of my daughters not having me at their weddings or when their babies are born or when they just need a hug only a mom can give.  I have friends who have lost moms, and it scares me that it could happen to my girls if I do not get healthier.
4. Over the past ten years or so, I have felt like I was living in a fat suit; I was the same person on the inside, for the most part, and the outside looked completely foreign to me.
5. I met a truly wonderful woman and friend that taught me how to exercise my body to benefit my health, and I knew that I was not following through completely by also exercising my will power and choice to eat better.
6. Research.  Start reading and watching for yourself, and you will want to make changes, too.  Start with Food, Inc., The Engine 2 Diet, and Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  Netflix is teeming with food documentaries that will make you want to stand up for food regulations that make sense and supporting organic farms.
7. I have always done my best to support my local economy by choosing to shop in stores that are locally owned and operated.  While I do still shop at Trader Joes and Whole Foods, I also shop at farmers markets and actual farms.  The meat we do buy is all locally-raised, grass-fed, and free of antibiotics and hormones.  Thanks, Whole Foods, for educating us about our choices in this department.
8. When I was in college, I paid a lot more attention to my food, and it showed.  I made loads of food from scratch, used whole wheat flower, and drank tons of water.  I felt better then, and I am feeling that well and even better now.
9. Dairy makes me physically ill.  Why would I continue to ingest something that gives me terrible stomach cramps and severe constipation?  That sounds like torture to me.
10. I have not given up meat completely, but I have cut way back on it.  We have meat in our meals, on average, twice per week now.

As for getting enough nutrients, fruits and vegetables are filled with them.  Just a quick perusal through The Engine 2 Diet will show one the lengthy list of vitamins and minerals found in vegetables and fruits.  One of the best things any person can eat is kale.  We love it!!  Kale is packed with protein, fiber, potassium, calcium, vitamins galore, and even more.

While my mom may still call a lot of what we eat "Rabbit food," it does not change our attitude.  We, as a family, are committed to eating healthier, remaining active, and choosing Earth-conscious products and services in our home.  While I realize that not everyone will understand, at first, why we eat the way we do, I hope that they will take the time to ask me why and really listen to the answer before calling us crazy or "Tree-hugging hippies," or something else.  We are just doing what we think is best for our family and its food difficulties.

A Beginning of Sorts

My food journey began years ago, after giving birth to my third daughter.  I had watched the scale steadily increase as I moved to another state far from home, dipped my feet into graduate school in my secondary field, got married, and started having children.  What a journey it has been, and, boy, what I have learned along the way.

In the beginning, I read a lot about whole grains and how much better they were for us than our processed, white-flour-and-chemicals starches.  So, I switched our family of four over to whole grain everything.  That was when it became abundantly clear that my husband was having some sort of a reaction to something in our diet.  After some painful skin outbreaks and severe gastric issues, a simple blood test revealed that he had Celiac Disease.

My reaction was, "What the heck is that?"  When the doctor explained that it was an intolerance to wheat gluten that included wheat, oats, barely, and rye (mostly due to wheat contamination in the case of the three latter grains), I thought she was kidding.  One can actually be allergic to wheat?  How on earth would we be able to function without gluten?  After investing in a few well-reviewed books and a generous gift of several different kinds of flour from one of my students (I'm a private music lesson teacher), we began to understand just how different things were going to be in our house.

Over the course of the next five years or so, we began to implement healthier eating habits: more fresh vegetables, more fresh fruit, cooking from scratch even more so than before, sticking to only whole grains, limiting sweets and other junk foods.  While shopping for gluten-free (GF) foods and flours at our local co-op, I decided to grab some organic fruits for my girls' lunches one day, and that was one of the best decisions I have made, to date.  Our ride toward an organic, earth-friendly family was gaining steam!

After the birth of my fourth daughter, three years ago, I was determined to get my body and lifestyle healthier.  That's when I met one of the most amazing and influential women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  Her name is Val, and she was my personal trainer for 1.5 years at my gym in Minnesota.  Thanks to her tutelage, I gained some muscle tone and lost a lot of inches.  Something was still missing, though, as I was only able to lose twenty pounds in that 1.5-year period.  I was frustrated, but I was not going to let it stop me.  In fact, I worked out that much more; yet, my weight stayed the same.

"What gives?" I thought.

That was when Val began really asking about my diet.  She told me that weight loss is more like 75% diet and 25% activity/exercise.  I began paying more attention to my diet, counted calories, cut out diet soda and candy, and tried to limit eating out.  That seemed to help a bit, but it just was not enough to kick-start my weight loss again.  Enter the ever-present Murphy: my husband lost his job, got a new one, and we were going to move back to the East Coast.  While I was excited, I was also steeling myself for the coming months of living as a single parent to four young girls without much of a support network, far away from my family.

The stress of our situation and the reality of doing absolutely everything for myself, the girls, the cat, and the house we had on the market hit me in unexpected ways on a weekly basis.  I was not able to go to the gym the entire summer last year, because I just could not manage to get enough sleep, dress and feed all the girls, eat a healthy breakfast, clean the whole house until it was showing-ready, and get to the gym before the kids room closed.  Once our showings slowed and school was back in session, I was back in the gym as often as possible.  I am still quite proud of the fact that I managed to lose another ten pounds while under a tremendous amount of pressure.

After I coordinated with parents of students, friends, and my husband's family, I was able to schedule a moving date for just before Christmas in 2010.  Once the girls, the cat, and I arrived and settled into our new home in Mayland, I think the full brunt of my year alone finally sank into my body and mind.  I was exhausted and had nearly-constant migraines for the first three months of living here.  The only other time I can remember feeling so awful was just after giving birth to my youngest daughter, thanks to the sciatica I suffered with both of my last pregnancies combined with migraines with the last pregnancy.  I knew my emotions and pain were driving me to eat more, but I did not have the fortitude to fight it at that time.

Desperate to be rid of my head pain, I scheduled an appointment with a family practitioner.  I could barely function when I met my new doctor, and she quickly jumped to the task of getting me pain-free.  While I was frustrated that she was not looking for the source of my pain, at that time, I was so very grateful to be pain-free again.  At this point, I had gone back up fifteen pounds in the three months since we moved.  To say that I was down would be a massive understatement; I was devastated.  All that work down the drain in three short months.  Sigh.

Once the devastation passed, I got angry at myself for allowing the weight gain to happen again, and I began to research a diet (in the eat-it-every-day-of-your-life way and not the I-just-want-a-quick-fix-for-now way) rich in earth-friendly, easy-to-recognize, available ingredients.  I was done with being fat and sick, and I wanted to make some changes for the health and well-being of my entire family.  That was when I just stopped shopping at local grocery stores completely.  My stores of choice had become Trader Joe's and Moms Organic Market.  After my dear friend Kelly turned me onto Whole Foods, being an organic mom herself, we had even more options.  Without her help and guidance, I would have been a bit lost.  Thanks, Kelly!

In the beginning, I blew our weekly budget for groceries every week, but as I replaced the old, processed food with new, organic, all-natural food, our budget returned to normal.  We have been eating all-natural and organic for several months now, and I am finally getting the hang of keeping our grocery spending in line with our targeted budget amount.  I still blow it on occasion but not by much.

My family and I have seen such wonderful changes from changing our diet that we continue to seek out new opportunities to improve our health even more.  The more research I do, the more I am convinced that becoming a vegetarian or vegan is the healthiest choice.  I just do not know if I can ever completely give up meat. Dairy was easy, because I have been getting increasingly lactose-intolerant over the past five years.  One of the most delightful surprises in my new diet came from organic soy milk and almond milk.  For years, I thought the taste of  Silk was the norm.  Then, I met the Whole Foods organic soy milk.  Wow, what a difference!  Oh, the love I have gained for organic vanilla almond milk, too.  I have to ration myself to one glass per day, or I would gladly down the entire half-gallon carton in one day.

As of today, I have lost twenty pounds since late June.  Not too shabby, I would say.  In addition, my doctor was able to cut out my migraine medicine and prescribe an asthma preventative.  Now that I am breathing well, eating well, and exercising three to five days per week, I am feeling fantastic!  I am entirely too excited for the months to come and the additional changes we will see in our whole family.  I may even have a go at a vegan diet for a few weeks to see how it makes me feel. We have already committed to becoming more flexitarian, so I am hoping it will not be too difficult to finish the transition to completely meat-free.